Have you ever wondered when a joke crosses the line or when your behaviour at work becomes unacceptable? Humour can be a powerful means of communication at work. But we’ve all been in situations where our words were not as well considered as perhaps they could have been. Careless words impact not just ourselves but our colleagues too. Understanding and appreciating the norms of social interaction can help us ensure our behaviour at work is respectful and appropriate.
Defining boundaries of acceptable behaviour
Humour at work is a powerful tool for human connection in social interactions. A good joke can reduce tension and put others at ease. There is plenty to be said for being able to laugh at ourselves and there are places where the expression of humour is quite rightly unfettered. For instance in the pub with friends, at home or in any other informal situation.
In the workplace however, there is an expectation of mutual respect which involves recognising the fine line between being humorous and offensive. What makes a joke funny to one person may be deeply hurtful to another. If you offend those you work with you may affect cooperation, communication and professional relationships. None of which will recommend you to your employer or support your career advancement. Understanding what might be offensive is the first step to appreciating where the boundaries of humour and behaviour in the workplace lie.
The learning curve
There are some situations in which humour is the best form of communication. Knowing how to use humour effectively can make all the difference. How steep the learning curve will depend on where you are as a person. If you’re an empathetic person and an active listener the learning curve will be relatively moderate.
Policies on unacceptable behaviour may be in the company handbook. If no handbook exists unwritten rules of civil society should make clear that inappropriate individual behaviour significantly influences overall dynamics. Words have meaning. A single person’s actions can have a profound ripple effect on their colleagues’ performance and morale.
What makes a joke unacceptable.
Any joke that is, for instance, racist, sexist or homophobic is obviously inappropriate in the workplace. If you make a colleague the butt of a joke or tell even mildly personal jokes about or to someone you barely know, its inappropriate.
You need to use your judgement for each circumstance. For instance, if you have developed a friendly working relationship with a colleague and joking is considered banter between you, that’s probably fine. The rule of thumb is that if someone finds the joke offensive, apologise and learn.
In the UK, like in many parts of the world, we have a reputation for being self deprecating. So jokes that focus on ourselves are usually a safer choice in a workplace setting.
Timing is also important to think about. Sometimes a joke is just insensitive. Use your common sense and possibly a little emotional intelligence and you cant go wrong.
Calling out poor behaviour
If designed to ridicule and humiliate others, jokes in the workplace are just another form of bulling. Joking can also be used to exclude others as part of bulling behaviour. If you or others are suffering from bulling you have to report it.
Some companies and industries can nurture a laddish culture that encourages banter. If this leads to offensive, demoralising comments it will affect others negatively. Productiveness and motivation are likely to be the most obvious casualties, so ultimately this should be an issue an employer would want to address.
Reporting bullying behaviour is the first step to changing a negative culture and protecting your colleagues. But first make sure the offensive behaviour was intentional. There’s nothing worse than taking a grievance to a senior member of staff only to find the person causing the offence did so unintentionally. You have to work with your colleagues so if their intention was not to offend don’t alienate them by making a formal complaint without checking with them first.
And finally…
Words matter. Jokes are an important part of communication and when used thoughtfully can ease tension, build relationships and motivate others. The skill is in recognising when and where to use humour at work and what topics to avoid. Its like any form of communication, if you want to use humour as part of your tool set you need to understand how. A skilled communicator can exploit the benefits of humour to achieve their goals. Good sales people and people managers understand this.