Life has a habit of throwing the odd curve ball from time to time. Not getting the job, promotion or exam result we were hoping for are perhaps common disappointments. We can face adversity at every stage in our professional and personal life and it can drag us down if we allow it to. How we respond in those moments will make or break our ability to recover and get back on track.
Positive mental attitude – the argument against
Theoretically most of us probably realise positive thinking can help improve our mood, but when you’re suffering it just feels forced. So when things go wrong in life and people tell us to see the positives, the glass half full perspective, it can seem an insensitive, unemphatic piece of advice to give.
If you have suffered a disappointment, however grave, feeling sad is normal. In fact it’s a necessary part of your recovery. The secret is moderation, to not allow our sadness to spiral out of control, and that’s where positive mental attitude comes in to play.
Positive mental attitude – the argument for
By focusing on the positives of a situation you can change your perspective and mood. If you change your mood you change your behaviour and how you deal with life’s challenges.
Research over the years indicates that positive thinking facilitates the release of dopamine and serotonin in our brains. Both dopamine and serotonin are chemicals that play a part in our mood and ability to manage tasks. So however difficult it may seem when you’re feeling down, positive thinking can make a tangible difference.
A positive mental attitude is simply a conscious decision to think positively when faced with difficult situations or disappointment.
How do you adopt a positive mental attitude?
If you were overlooked for a promotion, were not selected for a job or failed your exam, or something more serious, you need to take a step back to make sense of the situation.
- Try writing down how you feel and identify why you feel that way. It’s okay to acknowledge your feelings, positive and negative. It’s not okay to allow negative feelings to spiral and affect your self-esteem.
- Identify the reasons why the disappointing situation occurred. It could be just a lack of interest in the subject for which you were revising, a lack of training or experience. If you understand why, you can build on that knowledge to change the outcome next time.
- Focus on what you did well, whether that was organised preparation for an exam or research before an interview. When you start to understand your feelings and put them in perspective you will begin to take control.
- At this point try positive affirmations such as I am good at my job, I’m a good people manager or I’m an intelligent and competent person. You get the idea. It may seem odd at first but the more you say these types of statements to yourself the more you start believing them. When you start accepting the positive statements you start to believe in yourself.
What do you do when you don’t know why you feel negative?
Unfortunately there will be times when you just can’t put your finger on why you feel down. It could be just a dissatisfaction with the job or with other aspects of your life which impact on your working life. This is common and where a positive mental attitude can really help.
- Make sure you draw a clear line between work and everything else by looking at your work life balance.
- When you’re at work set realistic goals so you don’t set yourself up for disappointment.
- Be realistic about your job. If it’s not your ideal job, plan your way to a better future. In the meantime, accept the work you don’t enjoy and enjoy the tasks you do. If there are aspects of your work you don’t like it’s better to be neutral than negative. Being negative, in some circumstances, can be a choice. If you choose to be positive, in the long term, you will improve your mental health, be more productive and be happier at work.
And finally…
Having a positive mental attitude doesn’t come naturally to all of us. It might take a lot of effort if you are swamped by negative feelings and it can be much easier to lose yourself in the negativity than to fight back. However, if you make the choice to take charge of your emotions a positive mental attitude can help you become more efficient, productive and happier. It can enable you to deal with any given situation or life in general to build a better future.